When you lose a loved one, it is such a challenging and emotional time for everyone. A memorial service allows you to say your goodbyes and reminisce about the person you have lost. It’s a chance to support the friends and family of the person who passed and share memories you have. It’s also a chance to say a final goodbye with the memorial service. As a way of paying your respects. you might want to say something during the service. After all, memorial services allow those close to the deceased to say a few words and show their gratitude for that special person being in their lives.
It’s very respectful and the family often finds it therapeutic to speak about their loved one. Also, friends and family like to hear more about the person that has passed and their life. They might learn a thing or two that they didn’t know about their loved one.
However, when you have to speak publicly, it can feel a little daunting. You might not know what to say at a funeral. Therefore, here is what you should say at a memorial service.
What to say at the memorial service
Here is some guidance for you on what you can say and also what to do to make a memorable and respectable memorial speech.
Prepare a personal statement
One of the best things you can do at a memorial service is to speak from the heart and give a personal statement. The more personal it is, the more meaningful it will feel to the guests attending the memorial service. It will also feel more memorable and heartfelt for you if you write a personal statement. You should include some of the memories you have of the loved one, taking time to mention different times of their life. You can also talk about how they impacted your life. Whether that was by guiding you, helping you or just loving you.
Also, you can talk about what you will remember them most for and you might want to talk about this with a heartfelt story. It’s fine to include humor in your statement if appropriate and if it would have been appreciated by the deceased. You can also mention some of their favorite things to make it more personal to them too. For instance, talking about their favorite hobby or their job during their life is great during a personal statement.
Once you have collated your thoughts together, you can write a speech. Try to make your speech a maximum of 5 to 10 minutes so that it doesn’t become uncomfortable or overwhelming for you.
Practice your speech
The next thing you should do is practice your speech. You don’t want to get to the day without running through your speech. Of course, it might make you emotional talking about your loved one. So giving yourself time to process what you will say and how you may feel is important.
Also, when you are talking in front of a lot of people, you may feel overwhelmed. Therefore, practicing your speech so you become more familiar with it is so important. That way, you will feel less daunted by the prospect when the day arrives. You can take the speech with you or just write notes if you can remember most of it at the memorial service. Remember to speak confidently and slowly so everyone takes time to listen.
Make it visual
Visual aids can help during a memorial speech. If you are talking about a certain hobby they had during their life, showing this via a photograph is a great way to make it memorable. You could even show an item of their clothing as a visual prop if they were known for wearing something specific. Depending on the capabilities of the venue, you might be able to show a slideshow of photos in the background. That way, you can refer to the photo during your speech when talking about specific relationships the deceased had.
Poems and sayings
You may also decide to say a poem at the memorial service. This might be one of the deceased’s favorite poems or it was meaningful during their life. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a poem that is commonly read out at funerals or has a death or grieving meaning. You could also say a memorable saying rather than a full poem. It could be a sentimental saying from a famous person, perhaps someone who the deceased was fond of. Or it could even be a saying that was spoken by the person who has died.
However, if you would rather not read a poem or a saying, it’s not necessary.
What to say to those who are mourning
When you are at a memorial service, you might feel unsure about what to say to those that are mourning at the service. After all, you don’t want to offend or upset them, especially when they are grieving. You might want to speak to them after the funeral at the wake if you are an acquaintance or a friend.
But you might want to approach close family members to express your condolences if you are close to the family or if others are greeting them. You could tell them how you know the person who has died and speak honestly about the loved one while being respectful and kind. It’s always worth saying sorry for their loss and showing you want to pass on your condolences. You can have a further chat at the wake.
What you should not say at a funeral
There’s nothing worse than saying the wrong thing at a funeral or memorial service. Ensure you do not use any judgment when talking about the person who has died. Even if they have done wrong in their life, a funeral is not the time or place to reflect badly on the person. Also, do not comment on their grief or be dismissive of it. After all, everyone’s grief journey is individual and personal. Just remember to be respectful and polite to the deceased person’s family members.
