Funerals are formal events, and there are certain rules you should follow to maintain a high level of respect for the deceased’s loved ones. However, military funerals are especially formal, and there is a stronger form of etiquette you need to follow when you attend one. Due to this, it can seem a bit daunting to know what to expect and how to prepare.
A military funeral still has the same basis as any other funeral. You are attending to mourn and celebrate the life of the deceased. However, if you are unsure of how to dress, act, and what to bring, we have put together this military funeral etiquette guide to help you out so you can focus on your bereavement with no added stress.
What to wear to a military funeral
All funerals tend to come with a dress code to follow, but it is much more strict when you’re attending a military funeral.
Dress code for service members
A service member’s attire differs from a family member or friend’s at a military funeral. If you serve in the military or are part of your deceased’s unit, you are expected to wear your Class-A uniform. This will be your dress uniform, whether you’re in the army, navy, air force, or any other military sector.
It isn’t appropriate for you to wear your military mess dress at a funeral. To maintain respect, you should ensure your Class-A uniform is clean, ironed, and in good condition.
Dress code for family members and friends
If you’re a family member or friend of the deceased and do not serve in the military, you aren’t expected to wear any form of uniform. However, you should still dress respectfully, as you would for any other funeral. This means you should stick to dark and mundane colors and attire that is seen as formalwear.
Men should wear a suit and tie, or at least smart pants and a button-up shirt and tie if they don’t own a suit. Women are expected to wear a dress or a blouse and skirt/pants. You should never wear casual clothing such as jeans and t-shirts unless the invitation has specified this is okay, but it is unlikely that will be the case.
Where to sit at a military funeral
When you attend most funerals, family members sit at the front, and you are usually welcome to sit anywhere else unless specified elsewhere. However, at a military funeral, there are often strict seating plans for both the funeral service and when you’re surrounding the grave.
Usually, you won’t be allowed to sit at the funeral. There will be a limited number of seats at the funeral service and cemetery, which should be kept clear for immediate family members to use. If you are a family member seated, you should remain seated for the entire ceremony to avoid disruptions. Any other attendees will be expected to remain standing for the whole service unless told otherwise.
The next of kin will be at the front of the service with the rest of the family, but they should also be accessible, as they will be handed the folded American flag, which is a large part of the ceremony.
Military funeral flowers etiquette
Flowers make up a big part of any funeral, and this is the same regarding military funerals. However, there are still a few significant differences. For example, before you pick out the flowers you’ll bring to the funeral, check to see if the family has requested flowers with a patriotic theme.
When you bring flowers, they should not be placed at the base of the flag or anywhere that will cover it. They should also not be placed inside the casket. Instead, flowers are organized as standing sprays. For more advice, you can contact a florist, as they will know the best types of flowers to bring to a military funeral.
Military funeral honors
One of the most significant differences between a typical funeral and a military funeral is the honors. At a military funeral, at least two honor guards must be present at the service. Each honor guard must also be dressed in their Class-A uniform based on the branch of service the deceased served in.
The honor guards have a few responsibilities at the funeral, and there are two main ones. First, they are responsible for playing Taps when the guests are by the grave. Secondly, they must fold the American flag and pass it to the deceased’s next of kin.
Should children attend a military funeral?
While you may feel inclined to bring your children to the funeral of a loved one, if it is a military funeral, it is a good idea to leave them out of it. Most of the time, it isn’t expected to bring them unless the family has specified that it is okay. This is because it is such a formal event, and it can be hard to keep young children quiet for the entirety of the service.
Some older children may be okay to attend the service. If you want to bring your kids, you must ensure they are mature enough to understand the etiquette of a military funeral. You should tell them what to expect beforehand and be sure they are prepared for the different traditions.
Take time to reach out
Whether military or not, you should take time to reach out to the deceased’s family. They will no doubt be going through a hard time and, therefore, will appreciate the sentiments you offer them. Similarly, when you attend the funeral, make sure you pay your respects and mourn in a respectful manner for the entirety of the service.
If you are throwing the military funeral yourself for a loved one, you may need a helping hand. Mr. Vaults has everything you need to ensure everything is in place and the whole service runs smoothly. Don’t hesitate to get in touch today.
