When someone you know has passed, you may hear of two events you can attend. These are visitations and funerals. They both provide opportunities for you to come together with the deceased’s loved ones and mourn the loss. However, many people confuse the two and think they are the same thing when there are a few differences between a funeral and a visitation.
A funeral is a planned formal event where people will attend a service that celebrates the memory of the deceased, talk about how much they were loved, and allows guests to mourn. A visitation is separate but can also be a part of a funeral. It allows people to pay their respects to the deceased’s loved ones and offer their condolences in a less formal setting.
Keep reading to learn more about what a visitation at a funeral is.
What is a funeral visitation?
A funeral visitation isn’t always held after the passing of a loved one, but it is common among various religions and cultures. Guests are invited to come and pay respects to the deceased’s family, and it often occurs before the funeral is held, such as the day before or the morning of.
The family of the deceased will put aside a set time for people to drop by and offer support or gifts. People can chat about their love for the deceased and offer their condolences. It is much more relaxed than a funeral, as there isn’t often an itinerary or dress code. Instead, you all simply sit together, share memories, and mourn.
Where is a visitation held?
While a visitation is often held at the funeral home, where the deceased’s body is kept, it is all down to what the family wants. Since a visitation is much less formal than a funeral, it should be in a place where everyone feels comfortable, especially the deceased’s family. Therefore, it can also be held in places such as the family home or a place of worship, depending on the religion of the person who has passed.
The location of a funeral visitation is never limited; it can even be held somewhere much more public such as a bar or park. It could be somewhere that meant a lot to the deceased as well. It is really less about where it is held and more about the time everyone spends together to mourn.
Funeral etiquette at visitations
While visitations are much less formal than funerals, there are still specific rules you should follow when attending one. You want to ensure the deceased’s family and all the other guests at the visitation feel comfortable.
What to wear to a visitation
While most funerals have a strict dress code of dark colors and formal clothing, this isn’t always the case when it comes to a visitation. You aren’t expected to wear a full suit and tie, but the family may still require you to follow some form of dress code. For example, some families ask that those attending the visitation wear the deceased’s favorite color, as it makes the event much more meaningful.
If no dress code is specified on the visitations invitation, you should probably stick to dark and less vibrant colors. Don’t wear anything that sticks out too much, but you can probably stick to something a bit more casual such as jeans and a t-shirt.
If you’re still unsure, you don’t want to disturb the family, but maybe ask someone close to the family who will have a better idea.
How long does a visitation last?
There is no set time for how long a funeral visitation should last as it is entirely up to the deceased’s family and how long they feel comfortable receiving guests. However, the typical time tends to be around two or three hours. Guests aren’t required to be there the whole time, and they can visit for as long as they wish, whether for 15 minutes or an hour.
In terms of etiquette, you should probably attend the visitation for long enough that the family has established you have come and that you paid your respects. If you aren’t too familiar with the family, then a shorter amount of time will seem more reasonable than if you are a close friend.
How to behave at a visitation
Of course, when attending a visitation, you should be as respectful as possible. It is, however, not as formal as a funeral, so it provides a setting for people to be able to celebrate the memory of the deceased and have more of a relaxed conversation about memories.
Often, people at these visitations haven’t seen each other for a while, so they have come together to support each other, catch up, and share their love for the one who passed. As long as you greet the family, offer your condolences, and maintain a good level of respect for the deceased, it should be a good opportunity to mourn in a much more casual setting.
Should I go to the visitation or the funeral?
There is no simple answer to this question, as there are a lot of factors that can influence it. For example, your relationship with the deceased and their family may play a part in it. The family may only want close friends to come to the visitation, so it may be best to only go to the funeral if you’re only an acquaintance. However, some families are happy having as many people to the visitation to hear all the happy memories of the deceased.
If you’re close to the family, you should probably go to both the visitation and the funeral. However, if you aren’t as close, you should do what you feel comfortable doing. If you want to mourn in a more comfortable setting, then the visitation is a better idea. If you don’t want to attend something as intimate, you may want to attend the funeral with a bigger crowd.
If you’ve recently experienced a loss and need a helping hand with the visitation or funeral, then Mr. Vaults is able to help. Get in touch with one of our representatives today, and we will put together the send-off your loved one deserves.
