Attending a loved one’s funeral is a sensitive time and feeling underprepared for it can add to feelings of grief and overwhelm. If you find yourself in such a position, there are several steps you can take so you know how to prepare yourself for a funeral, to make sure you are ready for the final goodbye. Practicing these preparatory tasks will put you more at ease and make things a little easier when the day of the funeral comes.
Decide what you will wear
The general dress code for a funeral is formal, black attire but keep in mind the departed may have requested something different. Once you have decided what to wear, it will make it easier to visualize yourself on the day of the occasion. Mental preparation is just as important and painting a picture beforehand will help immensely.
When selecting an outfit, consider wearing something of sentimental value or that represents your and the deceased’s relationship. Making these small adjustments to an outfit will make you feel closer to your late loved one and a small talking point for when you pay your respects to others.
Expect it to be emotional
Saying goodbye is hard, especially when it’s for the last time. The funeral is bound to be an emotional experience. Mainly, you have to remember that it’s okay to show emotion and shed a few tears. Consider carrying a pocket of tissues or a handkerchief with you. Don’t be afraid to ask for support from those around you in your hour of need.
Having tissues to hand will also enable you to offer them to someone experiencing emotional struggle on the day. A simple act of kindness like this will go a long way and those in need of support will be grateful for your assistance. Emotion is symbolic of the role a person played in your life, and it’s natural to feel sadness in losing them.
Prepare for uncomfortable conversations
In the event of someone’s death, especially a loved one’s, circumstances may not always be ideal or peaceful. People who want to offer support may not understand exactly how the recent loss has affected you, and you may find yourself having to have difficult conversations with people.
If you are there to pay your respects, it may be challenging to witness emotions from other people and hear about the pain they are going through. In these situations, it’s always best to engage with them as much as possible and simply let them know you are listening. Showing empathy in these circumstances is always best. Remember, you do not have to fix the problem and take away anyone’s pain. You are just there to offer support and compassion.
If you feel like you need to contribute more to a conversation, either because the other person is struggling or because you feel strongly about it, you can always share a happy memory you have about the deceased. This will positively contribute to the day and manifest fondness and love at the funeral.
Practice your role if you have one
If you were close to a deceased loved one or their family, you may have been asked to prepare some words of remembrance. If you are giving a speech or a eulogy, prepare this as far in advance of the funeral as possible. It’s natural to be nervous for the big day and there is every likelihood you’ll be upset too.
Having your words fully prepared will calm your nerves and allow you time to practice your part without choking up. Once you’re used to saying something that is potentially emotionally stimulating, it becomes a lot easier.
Being asked to say a few words at a funeral is a huge honor and indicates that you were important in the life of the deceased. It’s a beautiful opportunity to say goodbye and gain closure during a time of grief.
Be ready to greet people
One of the best ways to prepare yourself for a funeral is to consider or even practice what you might say to others on the day, especially if there are going to be many people there. Even if you don’t know the family all that well, you must express sincere sympathy when you greet them.
Reaching out and saying something like “Hello, I’m so sorry to hear about your uncle, please accept my deepest sympathy and condolences” lets the person know that you care and that they have your support. Understanding that someone may be grieving more than you is a good thing to keep in mind when interacting with others at the funeral.
Getting ready to greet people is a great way to prepare when you’re wondering how to get through a funeral. Again, this will help you envisage what the atmosphere will be like on the day, making it easier to prepare yourself for heightened emotions and potentially uncomfortable conversations.
Take advice from the funeral director
A funeral director will be able to offer very sound advice when asking what to do before a funeral. These professionals are experienced in funeral etiquette and know how to deal with others’ sense of loss and grief. Speaking to them before the day of the funeral will also give you peace of mind as it will reassure you that there is a plan in place for the day.
Getting advice will also guide you in the right direction according to different religions and how to prepare for funerals that may follow different traditions than what you’re used to. They may advise you on what gifts are appropriate, what to say to other funeral attendees, and how to show respect to the deceased’s close friends and family.
Being well prepared is key
When you’re fully prepared for a funeral, you come to realize that showing emotion is okay and it takes a lot of pressure off you to be strong. This is especially important if you had a close relationship with someone you recently lost.
For others who may be suffering more, you place yourself in the position of the supporter when you are well prepared. This will enable you to practice sincerity at the funeral and get through the duties you need to if you have a role to play on the day.
